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True Love

by The Pants

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1.
Overture 01:28
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When I think of my True Love I think of all the above I please a different hooker everyday It's never worth the roubles that I pay I'm so cool I'll show you the world, baby If you buy me a globe So put your hook inside my wrist And together we'll stroll Philosophy Fill us up for a fee Philosophy Fill us up for a fee Don't do it for you, do it for you Don't do it for you, do it for you Don't do it for you, do it for you Don't do it for you, do it for you And formeldahyde
2.
The Pants Have Returned (to Devour You) 01:16
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The Pants have returned to devour you The Pants have returned to devour you The Pants have returned to devour you The Pants have returned to devour you CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP CHOMP The Pants have returned to devour you The Pants have returned to devour you The Pants have returned to devour you The Pants have returned to devour you
3.
Put Me on a Ship 01:15
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Sorry, I didn't realize you were really recording there... Put me on a ship A good ship A ship that sails me away Put me on a ship A good ship A ship that sails away from you You can take my sandwiches You can take my avocado Take the whole damn grove I don't need it anymore No! Put me on a ship A good ship A ship that sails me away Put me on a ship A good ship A ship that sails away from you
4.
Adagio Alla Marcia 00:39
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5.
Long Dead by Then 03:12
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The light from your eyes is alive The light from the stars is dead By the time I see those black holes We'll be long gone Long dead by then Long dead by then We'll be dead by then They will bury you I won't be around The shovels and rakes in the shed (That's right, in the shed) I'll hold my own wake for you Me and my tiny white guitar Long dead by then Long dead by then We'll be dead by then Far as I can see Without you there's no me No other fish in the sea to compare You know there's no doubt You're the only trout my hook is looking for I'm breathing clorophorm Long dead by then Long dead by then I'll show you the world! If you buy me a globe! The light from your eyes is alive The light from the stars is so dead (so dead) By the time I see them black holes We'll be long gone Long dead by then Long dead by then We'll be dead by then
6.
Ladies of the Night > Greyhound Buh 01:53
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Ladies of the night Ladies of the night Ladies of the night Ladies of the night Ladies of the night Come with me tonight I'll buy you kung pow with a side of rice Woudn't that be nice with a slice of Christ? Ladies of the night Ladies of the night Ladies of the night Ladies of the night On a mutha fuckin' Greyhound Bus On a Greyhound Bus On a Greyhound Bus On a Greyhound Bus On a Greyhound Bus On a Greyhound Bus... I wanna go one more I wanna go one more!
7.
Put Me on a Ship (Reprise) 00:14
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Put me on a ship A good ship A ship that sails me away... From you
8.
Pricetags 00:55
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All of the love I've ever found Was worth anything but pain She came along and we found She wasn't free She had pricetags and pricetags and pricetags Pricetags and pricetags and pricetags galore Pricetags and pricetags and pricetags Pricetags and pricetags and pricetags galore She doesn't believe
9.
The Pants Have Returned (to Devour Us) 00:36
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The Pants have returned to devour us The Pants have returned to devour us The Pants have returned to devour us The Pants have returned to devour us Whooo Do it for me do it for you Don't do it for me do it for you Don't do it for me do it for you Don't do it for me do it for you Do it for me and for...
10.
You're Not a Bad Person 01:39
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So what are we doing? We're doing it like we have been. You're not a bad person if you don't love The Pants They just don't like you Don't do it for me do it for you Don't do it for me do it for you Don't do it for me do it for you 2 - 3 - 4 Hey Man, how're you doin? I'm doin' pretty good man! You're not a bad person if you don't love The Pants They just don't like you Don't do it for me do it for you
11.
The Real Philosophy Section 01:08
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STOP NAMING YOUR BANDS AFTER THE PANTS! Don't do it for me, do it for you. Remember to have fun, cuz its The Pants Rule Number 1 Rule Number 1 NAMING YOUR BANDS AFTER THE PANTS! STOP NAMING YOUR BANDS AFTER THE PANTS! Do it for me, do it for you Don't do it for me, do it for NAMING YOUR BANDS AFTER THE PANTS! STOP NAMING YOUR BANDS AFTER THE PANTS! NAMING YOUR BANDS AFTER THE PANTS! STOP NAMING YOUR BANDS AFTER THE PANTS! Don't do it for me, do it for you Dude, we gotta play The Real Philosophy Section! What section is that?
12.
I'll Eat Your Meals 02:42
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You can make me lunches You can bring me bunches of bananas I can stay for dinner But even in the winter it's worms for lunch Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal They're free for me I think worms are yummy When they're in my tummy I start to squirm Just make me some porridge Take it out of storage, leave the worms Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal They're free for me If you gave me peaches They'd be filled with leaches, ew that's gross Just make me a pancake Like you'd give me anything but worms Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal They're free for me AHHH WHOOOO Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal Baby, I'll eat your meal They're free for me
13.
She Was So Lovely 01:16
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Let's play some fuckin' rock music She lived in a molehill Was born in a tree She didn't want nothin' to do with me She was so lovely She was so lovely She was so lovely She was so lovely She smelled like degreaser Her hair was aflame And all that I wanted was just one little kiss She was so lovely She was so lovely She was so lovely She was so lovely She dug up a radish And cooked up a pie I couldn't help but want to get married again She was so lovely She was so lovely She was so lovely She was so lovely
14.
Fin de Amor 01:10
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about

The Pants "True Love" Story:
Many a year before The Pants didn’t die in their self-renowned album “The Pants Aren’t Dead”… they created a masterful lo-fi album of great import to dozens of Pants lovers.

And now “The Pants True Love” is alive and well, ready for release on July 30, 2021. The Pants True Love clearly defines The Pants true nature. Efficiency. 14 tracks made to order and cooked to perfection with a running time of 19 minutes.

The Pants used their crust covered tentacles and brain units to write an album over the course of 48 hours, and then roped in friends and random ne’erdowells who happened to be hanging out at their Filth Ranch in Kalamazoo, MI to record their scintillatingly symphonic odes to desperation. Lo and behold, upon the pressing of the ‘RECORD’ button, the substantially low-performing recording software that our heroes possessed transmogrified into complete bupkis. The Pants were thus forced to flesh out their sopping vision of love via recording LIVE to two-track via two garbage microphones hot-wired into Microsoft Wave Editor ( ...the world’s least interesting recording software). Undaunted, they pressed on, forcing bass players to be drummers, drummers to play keyboards, and non-singers to sing.

In 2021, the Pants digitally dusted off the recordings and set Josh Shirt on a mission to remaster this masterpiece turning it into what has become known by the name
“The Pants True Love! 16th Anniversary Remastered Edition Now in Technicolor!”

credits

released August 5, 2022

The Pants are:
TMULE
Jason Hestek

The Pants Auxiliary:
Nora Hemsberg, Dan Hopkins, Ray Andres, Bill Taylor III, Kid Jack Andres, Scott Koop, Lemon Juice

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The Pants Grand Rapids, Michigan

Best known for their hard-hitting nonsense... and their 11 seconds of fame on Steve Terreberry's YouTube video about The Worst Band Names on Spotify (in which he says we have the best band name on Spotify - DAMN RIGHT, STEVE!)... The Pant's Have Returned to Devour YOU! Freak + Rock + Skronk = The Pants ... more

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